A Hidden Well-Being Challenge
In this episode, we hear from Cass. She is dealing with the impact of the pandemic on her family, particularly a family member with mental well-being concerns, while also navigating the transition into the hybrid work arrangement. She is grappling with doubts about her role, and whether she can sustain this balancing act.
I sat there, staring at my laptop screen, reading the email over and over again. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. I felt upset, angry, shocked. I couldnāt believe this was happening.Ā Iāve had a feeling for a while that things are changing for me at work. And now this email from my supervisor confirms everything I have been worried about.
My importance on this teamāthe space I worked so hard to createāis fading. How did this happen?! The last year or two are a complete blur.
The pandemic was hard on my family. One of my loved ones, who has a history of mental health concerns, had low motivation and fell into a deep depression. The anxieties and confinement of the pandemic made it challenging for her to cope, and for me to support her. I donāt want to talk more about it, but Iāll just say it wasnāt easy.
Donāt get me wrong – working from home was a blessing in disguise. I could keep an eye on things. But it also made things worse for me personally. Being at home meant I was putting out fires all day long. I just couldnāt focus on work. There was always some worry at the back of my head. Or something was going on. And my mind was divided between the issues at home and those at work. There were days I could barely hold it togetherāitās like a sinkhole opened and swallowed me whole.
I tried my best to muddle through all these distractions and put on a strong front for my family, and at work. I think it worked because no one ever asked me anything. To be honest, I panicked when I found out we were going into hybrid work mode. Iād have to work some days from the office. I needed a break from being in the house, but I also didnāt know how I would manage the situation at home.
I tried to put it off for a bitāI saved all the days I was allowed to work remotely and used them up in one go. But beyond that, there really wasnāt much else I could do. I just had to go back and try to make it work. Once I was back, it felt like all too much. Maybe we all forgot how to work in an office because everything felt hard at first. I was barely keeping upāit took a while just to get used to being around everyone again. And everyone else was getting used to it too.
I thought Iād be able to strike a better balance, but Iāve been feeling a bit like a hamster on a wheelāconstantly running, but not making much progress! On top of everything, I also had to readjust and figure out how to provide care for my family member while at the office or on a mission. Itās not just about me, it affects their quality of life too. And all of this takes a real toll on me, physically and emotionally.
Iām grateful for the hybrid arrangement, though. It does give me some flexibility, and Iām holding on to that with dear life! I was so preoccupied with all these things on my mind that I barely noticed the moods shifting in my team. At first, I thought it was the pressure of organizational changes or the new operating model looming over us.
But it suddenly hit me at the last meeting: Ā my team seemed to be resentful of me!
No one ever said anything to me, but the air was thick with tension. I realized they took my constant preoccupation as slacking offā¦ they didnāt think to ask if something might be wrong. And our supervisor, Jay, who is too stressed about deadlines at the moment, also didnāt ever check in with me to see if I needed support. Everyone has been focused on their own tasks. I canāt blame anyone, but I would have appreciated some support.
Just after that meeting, Jay sent me a discouraging email, telling me he is reducing my role on a significant new project I was looking forward to working on. Since then, Iāve been thinking hard about what comes next for me on this team.
And what will the new operating model mean for me? Will my role change? Will I be drowning in even more work? Can I continue balancing my work and my familyās needs? Should I find another job? Thatās crossed my mind more than once. What should I do? All I know is that I canāt keep going on like this. I deserve a life where I can take care of myself too.
It is important to recognize that the situation in this case study goes beyond work-related concerns. It delves into deeply private and personal challenges that can affect anyone within the ADB community, both at home and at work. We must address it with sensitivity and understanding.
It is not an easy topic to discuss. The individuals grappling with these challenges often go unnoticed. On the outside, they put on a strong and competent front. But internally, they feel emotionally fragile and physically drained.
They feel isolated because so many people rely on their strength and competence to solve complex problems in their personal and professional lives. The weight of everyoneās reliance on them can take a toll. Itās a heavy burden to bear.
Moreover, while battling their internal struggles, these individuals agonize over the tough decisions they must make and the large responsibilities they have to shoulder at work. Many of them have always excelled professionally, so any missteps or irregularities in their performance can appear out of character for them and are damaging to their self-confidence at work.
Those who have approached the Ombuds office about this issue expressed their hesitation in seeking help. They admitted to brooding about whether to approach our team for quite some time. In the end, they decided to open up about their struggles with us.
These individuals have carried the burden of their struggles alone. They often feel isolated because they donāt receive the support they desperately need, especially those who are separated from their extended families while living and working in their duty stations. Some staff members feel that adequate support networks or systems are lacking in their duty station. That becomes a major factor in deciding whether to stay with ADB or return home.
Interestingly, for some individuals, the catalyst for seeking help from the Ombuds office, was the prospect of returning to the duty station, along with uncertainties and anxieties surrounding the organizational review and discussions about the new operating model. It became a turning point for others who approached our office when exploring their options, seeking guidance on how to navigate the hybrid policy, or find exceptions to the rules. In all fairness, there are staff members, and their families, who are genuinely experiencing various personal difficultiesāquietly suffering.
Some of those who spoke with us felt frustrated, because their situation did not qualify as a medical exemption for the work-from-home outside of duty station policy. They contemplated applying for an exception because they believed specialized medical or therapeutic care in their home country would best serve the needs of their family members. However, ultimately, they decided not to appeal. Some thought the threshold of applicants was too high, while others thought it might not be worth the effort.
The situation in this case study highlights how well-being concerns lie at the core of many other issues that the Ombuds office encounters in its cases. Staff members facing these challenges question their ability to manage the stress at home while maintaining their performance at work. The dilemmas and their perceived lack of support can have significant implications for ADB as we move forward into a new operating model.
To conclude, it is imperative that we recognize and address the holistic wellbeing of our staff members as we navigate the future together.
